Sapporo Ichiban - Shrimp Flavor

For our first ranking we decided that we would go back to the #1 type of Ramen on our previous scale: Sapporo Ichiban! We found the most exotic kind of Ichiban sold at our local store, Shrimp Flavor! Costing a measely 95 cents Canadian we hope it will bring us joy!

Moses would like to interject here to say that admittedly it was the second most exotic kind of Ichiban offered. They were all out of Miso flavor. Anyway, we picked up a package of this dorm room staple and started our evaluation:

The Players
Moses: Stand-up Comic and Superstar Nintendo Fan
Duncan: Film Student and Instant Ramen Connoisseur
Bex: Food Snob and Creator of Ramen O' Rama

The Packaging
(6/10)
Overall the packaging hasn't changed much over the years. All three tasters remember the exact same packaging from when they were kids. Based on that we awarded points for nostalgia, but subtracted points for marketing laziness. Moses commented that even after all the years of looking at this package, he's still not totally sure what the blue arrow in the upper right hand corner is supposed to do. Is it pointing to something specific? In fact it bothered Moses so much that he demanded that points be deducted from the total, "Poor Craftsmanship!" He huffed. Bex and Duncan on the other hand delighted that even though the product was made in the USA, the packaging was printed in Japan. Points for authenticity were awarded. The package was fairly simple to open, although there was an incident with the bits that had broken off the chunk of noodles encased within. The broom was sent for and the issue was quickly resolved.

Peripherals and Accessories
(3/5)

Basically it only comes with two things, the noodles, which come in a dehydrated brick and the soup base, which comes in a foil package and looks vaguely of sea monkey eggs. Moses was subdued after a minor tantrum involving the return of the incongruint blue arrow. He was told to seek help and the evaluation resumed
Points were deducted for the pain in the ass that it was to open the package. An argument ensued on whether or not points should be awarded or deducted for minimalism. It was settled that they should compromise and a point was deducted.

Preparation:
(1.5/2)

It's really really hard to screw this up. When timed, total preparation was only 4 1/2 minutes when the stove was set to high. Half a point was deducted because of splash back when stirring noodles in boiling water. Bex was rightfully called a wuss.

Taste and Texture
(7/15)
Not as good as remembered. It might have been because none of the three were drunk or starving, but the texture was slimy yet firm - making it less than appetizing. Duncan commented that watching the noodles unfurl and rehydrate in the water was akin to watching worms burrow for the winter. All three evaluators agreed that the soup base tasted less like "Shrimp" and more like that generic "Seafood" taste that so many Ramen companies offer. All in all it was a disappointing first run. Hope was high that the noodles direct from Japan will hold up well against these American made impostors.

Bonus Points
(3/8)
Points for nostalgia, but not much else. Overall very dissapointing.

Total Points
(20.5/40)
Not a great standing for this North American Favorite. This is definately student food.

Other Comments of Note:

• Duncan (While Looking at Package): My God! This is made by Sanyo? Didn't they make Hello Kitty! They have their hands in everything don't they?
  Bex: No...Sanrio makes Hello Kitty. And I think she has her own brand of Ramen.
  Duncan: Ooh! Can we do that next?
  
• Moses: I kind of feel gypped. Even Cup Noodle comes with dehydrated peas and corn.
  Bex: If you look really close you can see little green things swirling in the broth.
  Duncan: What kind of nutritional value do you suppose they have?
  Bex: According to the package they're leek chips. Duncan: So they're as much of a vegetable as ketchup then.
  
• Bex(Looking at the Ingredients): Hey guys, this is like reading a high school AP Chem textbook. What do you suppose Disodium Guanylate is?
  
• Duncan: You know, my mom used to put a package of dry Ichiban in my lunch once a week for a treat.
  Moses: My mother said if I ate it dry I would get worms.

Needless to say, the experience hardly left us dancing about like the people in the commercial below, although Moses seems to believe that we may have come close had we actually found the "Miso" variety which was advertised.

Ramen O' Rama would like to thank the good people of Safeway for putting up with 3 doofuses and their quest.