Welcome gentle readers to a new installment of Ramen O' Rama. This week we tackle Golden Wheat Korean Style Shrimp Flavoured Noodles. Usually we start this segment by telling you a little bit about the company that produced the product. According to the Internet (the source of all information) Golden Wheat doesn't exist. We can't find any record of them other than another person's evaluation of their noodles. We looked for a larger company listed on the package but none was to be found. It's one of the more prolific brands at the Asian Supermarket with over a dozen different flavours and styles - so to find no trace of the company concerned us to no end. Something fishy was going on with these shrimp flavoured noodles and it wasn't just the scent when we opened the bag.On the Panel Today Are:
Bex - Hungry for power and glory- but noodles will have to do.
Krissy J - Our cultural correspondent.
Packaging (4/10)
Not good. Not good at all. Okay, granted that the noodles on the cover look nice and shiny (We'll discovery why later) and all the lovely things that they've added to the noodles do in fact look quite appetizing. The blue is a delightful touch reminiscent of the ocean. Still that huge red and white sticker on the front is a total eye-sore. What's it covering up? Why the claim that the product contains no MSG of course. God bless the people working in the in department of food labeling in the Canadian Government - keeping us safe from mislabeled flavor enhancers. We're not being sarcastic. We mean it.
Not good. Not good at all. Okay, granted that the noodles on the cover look nice and shiny (We'll discovery why later) and all the lovely things that they've added to the noodles do in fact look quite appetizing. The blue is a delightful touch reminiscent of the ocean. Still that huge red and white sticker on the front is a total eye-sore. What's it covering up? Why the claim that the product contains no MSG of course. God bless the people working in the in department of food labeling in the Canadian Government - keeping us safe from mislabeled flavor enhancers. We're not being sarcastic. We mean it.
Golden Wheat has also surpassed the bad-health standard that we seem to have set for our noodle tests here Golden Wheat - Shrimp Flavour is significantly higher in calories and fat than a Big Mac. These noodles weigh in at a whopping 656 calories with 28g of fat. A Big Mac as you may recall is 576 calories with 32.5g of fat.
Seeing as your daily calorie intake is supposed to be around 2000 calories, you'd better be planning some salads with light dressing in your near future.
The Peripherals (3/5)
Okay... so far pretty standard looking...Veggie Pack, Seasoning and wait...hold on a second....What...the...hell...is...that?
It appears to be a packet of congealed and flavoured fat. It reminded Bex of a liposuction bag. Krissy J. Started screaming about the rules of fight club and things went down from there. At least it should go along nicely with the 
dusty looking flakes of...something greenish...with the dehydrated hunks of...something yellowy orange in the veggie package. Those dehydrated shrimp are not a colour found in nature and were even less appealing when rehydrated - but we'll get to that in a moment.
dusty looking flakes of...something greenish...with the dehydrated hunks of...something yellowy orange in the veggie package. Those dehydrated shrimp are not a colour found in nature and were even less appealing when rehydrated - but we'll get to that in a moment.Preparation (1/2)
FINALLY! Something microwavable! Although this isn't in an instant cup so I guess that we'd have to go and find a bowl and then clean it and everything. Best to just eat the ones in packages straight from the pot like real students do. Although admittedly there were some concerns as we attempted to squeeze the content of the fat package into the boiling pot as instructed. Not only did it ooze out extremely unappealingly ("That's going to be inside us soon!" screamed Krissy) but our hands were singed by the steam from the boiling water. Not well thought out Golden Wheat.
Taste and Texture ( 1/15)
Look at that bowl. Looks pretty good huh? That inviting steam floating gracefully off a sepia broth with green and pink accents just screams "I'm delightful!" It lies. This was one of the worst ramen's we've have ever had. Texture wise the noodles are fat, sloppy and very very soggy. They were unusable with chopsticks as the noodles broke as soon as you tried to pick them up. The broth was watery and after 3 minutes the whole bowl looked like this:
Look at the shimmer on the surface of the broth. 5 minutes after that the noodles had absorbed almost all the broth and was just slimy noodles with green smatterings. It appeared to be a bowl of mouldy tape worms. Appalling. We just ended up throwing out most of it.Bonus Points (0/8)
NONE! This stuff is vile. THEY GET NOTHING!
NONE! This stuff is vile. THEY GET NOTHING!
Total Points (9/40) Worst...noodles...ever...
Comments
Honestly, Bex was more than a little freaked out by the whole experience and intends to monitor her heart rate over the next few days due to the horrific fat content. To console herself she found an awesome commercial from the Nong Shim company - whose noodles we do enjoy greatly. Hopefully it will make you smile.
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